shaped by genes, peer culture

More evidence that Judith Rich Harris got it right: children's personalities are shaped by genes, peer culture, & many small random influences, not parenting. --Steven Pinker @sapinker

see also Why Parenting May Not Matter

store of quirks and prejudices

Deep down where we all keep the store of quirks and prejudices that we have absolutely nothing to do with accumulating. They're handed to us at birth, and they get underscored and intensified by the kind of lives we are forced by our elders to lead before we have anything to say about the kind of life we want to lead. --The enemy camp by Jerome Weidman.

...
Aunt Tessie had put her arms around him as though to protect him from somebody who was about to let him have it. "Shkutzim!" she'd said. "Gentiles!"

George had never heard the word before. But he understood right away what Aunt Tessie meant. He didn't need any translators. All he needed was the sound of Aunt Tessie's voice. This, she was saying, is the home of the enemy. Stay away. George didn't have to be told twice. He soon became used to hearing whispered stories about the crazy things that went on inside the house of the shkutzim. --pg 115

...
...boys and girls shouting and playing in the school yard had been infected by the same excitement that had touched the people in Forman's and the shkutzim in Gerrity's.

...
What else was there to say? Danny's relationship with Mike Gerrity and the shkutzim who hung around Mike's saloon was the only thing that bothered George about his best friend. It bothered a lot of other people on Fourth Street, too. Some of them told Mr. Schorr it didn't look right for his son, a nice Jewish boy like Danny, to be seen going in and out of the enemy camp across the street. From things like this no good could come. Jews belonged with Jews, and shkutzim belonged with shkutzim. --pg 122

...
He saw now that Aunt Tessie had been sound in warning him, when he first arrived on Fourth Street as a boy of three, against having anything to do with the shkutzim across the street, just as she had been sound to criticize and distrust Danny Schorr, first for being friendly and then for living with the Gerritys. Time, George saw now, had proved her right on both counts: a man who could consort with the enemy could do anything, as Danny had demonstrated by what he ended up doing to his best friend; and a man who wanted peace of mind had to stay with his own kind. --pg 309

George, who had enough self-control not to look startled even when he was, decided that this time it was probably wise not only to register surprise but to overdo it a little. ... He tried and succeeded in releasing a boyishly embarrassed smile. --pg 417 ну просто Штирлиц

He didn't think enough of any shikseh to want to make an impression on her... He had never been on a date with a shickseh. --pg 446

In view of all this, George found it surprisingly easy to overlook the fact that Miss Bucknell was not Jewish. It was astonishing when you got right down to it, and George promptly did, how little difference there was between the feel of a Jewish girl's thigh and that of a shickseh.

Having dealt with shkutzim in business for years, George has learned how to appear perfectly relaxed with them on the surface. ... Because I'm not as plain and simple as you think I am, George thought bitterly, but he didn't say it. --pg 463 Штирлиц, Штирлиц!

and on a brighter note

He smiled and took her in his hands: "You know what I like?"
Dora laughed. "A girl begins to get the idea after a while."

--pg 371

ex libris

Love Children Unconditionally

Can We Really Love Our Children Unconditionally?

It was foolish to think that taking up the piano at the same time as my own children would be emotionally uncomplicated. Or perhaps the complication was exactly why I sought it out. Freud called it “repetition compulsion.” While claiming we want a drama-free life, we instead end up hunting down our most torturous patterns over and over, like heat-seeking missiles.

это заставляет вспомнить Ницше про typical experience. еще там про Англию познавательно:

She was American by birth, and after marrying my university professor father and moving to London, she spent a decade working to be accepted into the snippy, fraught world of British intellectual society. This was a culture full of invisible class-markers, of snubs and tripwires and baited traps.

ну и Фромма она вспоминает к месту.

The Death of Authority

If our children believe they live in a thoroughly racist-sexist-classist-ableist society that is on the brink of collapse because of rising global temperatures, it is probably because they have seen thousands upon thousands of algorithmically cued-up videos, all attesting to various incarnations of imminent doom.

Adults wonder why young people are so cynical. We wonder why they speak in memes. We wonder why they are so miserable and depressed and friendless and bereft of meaning in their lives. ... We let them abandon Shakespeare for the macabre world of YA fiction.

We did this ... by telling young people they should become more independent, more autonomous, less tethered to the ideas and expectations of those who came before. It is why colleges encourage students to “design their own major” or why it is fashionable to insist that students “see themselves” in the books they read, as if the point of literature is affirmation instead of inspiration.

Instead of explaining what we know and how we know it, we merely capitulated to the desire to be liked. This is why our children are so susceptible to every moral, intellectual, or spiritual fad that appears on their screens. We let them believe that truth is artificial, love and friendship are power constructs, all religion is a mental phantom, and history is pure narrative.

What excuse do we have for high-school counselors and college deans who plead with teachers and professors to exercise “extreme empathy,” who argue any negative consequence is punitive and therefore harmful to the student in error? This is how we justify bad behavior on campus—the non-stop cursing, the TikTok challenges, the drug use, the defiance, the resistance to deadlines.

-- The Death of Authority in the American Classroom by Jeremy S. Adams

warning everyone

I’m warning everyone. You have no idea how screwed up some of these early teens are. I work with over 100 of them a day. I have never seen anything like it. @wyattsheepie

24.8K Likes однако. и множество комментариев, в большинстве - одобрительные. причем у этого wyatt сравнительно не так много followers, 6,320. и среди его других tweets ни один не вызвал подобной реакции.

комментарии очень познавательные, вот, к примеру, thread

A school system in Georgia is allowing a student to identify as a cat. The student may wear cat collars to school. Wyatt is correct. Some Kids live in fantasyland. I say some kids because my grandchildren live in the real world.

and one of the replies to this

I have heard they are also putting litter boxes in the bathrooms for those who identify as cats.

опровергают / details

Trump-loving GOP chair pushes unhinged conspiracy about schools supplying 'litter boxes’ for student ‘furries’, добавлю от себя: but there are students who identify as ‘furries’, which is great for American liberty and equality.

nyt тоже вмешалась и вот еще thread

Исаак, папа Дизраэли

Было ясно, что он сотворен из другого теста, чем его родители и их друзья, — робкий, чувствительный, постоянно погруженный в какие-то мечты, любящий одиночество. Для него лучшим компаньоном и собеседником являлись книги.

...

Когда сын подрос, его отдали в школу, чтобы он хотя бы днем не раздражал родителей. Но вечером он возвращался домой. В довершение всего Исаак однажды написал стихи. И отец серьезно забеспокоился. Для него это было намного большее горе, чем если бы он потерял в море большое торговое судно с товарами.

-- В. Г. Трухановский, Бенджамин Дизраэли или История одной невероятной карьеры

там далее очень познавательные несколько абзацев со слов Еще до поездки на Рейн Дизраэли решил заняться финансовыми операциями и вместе с коллегой - подряд цитировать слишком много, речь идет про его памфлеты о мексиканских горнодобывающих предприятиях, вот несколько предложений:

Они [памфлеты - вс] были выдержаны в строгом духе демонстративной беспристрастности и содержали обращение к благородным принципам свободы и соблюдения национальных интересов. В действительности же это была ловкая маскировка сути дела.
...
Заканчивая один из этих памфлетов, Дизраэли анонимно утверждал, что придерживается точки зрения, которая «не испорчена эгоистической заинтересованностью» и не «определяется воздействием каких-либо партийных соображений»
...
Знал ли Дизраэли, что он делает, известно ли было ему, что он выступает в поддержку спекулянтов-жуликов? Безусловно, да.

в сети в отрывках по-английски это не встречается (хмм), надо будет поискать в книгах по списку литературы в книге Трухановского.

далее

научили родители

но есть и хорошие новости

Somalia Severs Diplomatic Ties With Kenya

а вот о воспитании: Kids Are Watching Pornography. Here’s How to Talk About It. ну типа о любви и дружбе

тем временем Путин поздравил Байдена с победой на выборах президента США

influence a child

In order to influence a child, one must be careful not to be that child’s parent or grandparent.

Don Marquis

(1878 – 1937) humorist, journalist & author

fault or reward

But Polderman no longer makes judgments when, for instance, she sees a friend struggling with a screaming child on the supermarket floor. “I think they are excellent parents,” she says. “It’s just, it’s in the children. And it’s not the parents’ fault, or the parents’ . . . reward when it turns out well.” - How much can parents really control how their kids turn out?

see also @sapinker

vox populi

Sitting in a public park within earshot of a totally normie college girl telling her friend about how she lectures her liberal mom about gender pronouns and how looting is good @fxxfy

. "no, honey, those ideas are incredibly stupid" @toad_spotted

. Gotta get young people chopping firewood and picking apples again @TaraAnnThieke

. For the good of the country, maybe we should close down all the colleges this fall. @1FelisMargarita

. I think we refer to individuals such as her as toxic fucking bitches. Just a technicality, though. @paulrbrian

. 1 generation ago it was unheard of to live with your parents as an adult or have kids out of wedlock. Now it’s normal. @EverydayFinance

and separate source Letters to the Editor in The Hutchinson News:

With the collapse of the objective media, approach negative reporting about President Trump with skepticism and realize that positive news is being suppressed by a national media that has become spin-central for Joe Biden and the Democratic Party.

Gregory Bontrager, 7/18/20

sperm donor

Sunday Times getting .... extremely weird @liz_franczak


в американской версии nytimes.com заголовок немного другой: How Should I Think About Race When Considering a Sperm Donor?:

I am an American woman, of Ashkenazi Jewish ancestry, and I strive to live my life as an active agent against racism and white supremacy. I am beginning to consider having children and am open to bearing a child as a single mother. It is possible to sort through sperm donors by race, eye color, education level and so on. If I choose a donor of color, am I condemning my child to be born into a system designed not to serve them?

fever pitch

The screening system produces selective schools that are largely attended by white and Asian-American students, though the city’s school system is mostly black and Hispanic.

In recent weeks, a debate over how to restructure admissions for the fall — and far beyond — has reached a fever pitch.

- nyt

перевод


Schools Chancellor Richard A. Carranza has expressed skepticism about screened admissions but has not yet made major changes to the system.

ах красава Schools Chancellor Richard A. Carranza

see also No Ethnic Group Owns Stuyvesant / перевод

и повторю ссылку на видео с resignation speech учительницы из Висконсина.

parenting approaches

There are as many parenting approaches out there as diet plans. - How much can parents really control how their kids turn out? / local copy

I’m saying that DNA is not destiny, and also that I now understand that a phone will neither warp Olivia’s brain nor damage her prospects. But she’s still not getting one anytime soon.

в комментариях пережевывают все ту же жвачку

my fart

The Day My Fart Followed Me Home

Bought this book for my 5 year old.. Thought it would be cute and funny, since he is in the age of farting now. LOL
He loved the book. very cute and funny. My son loved it.

see also новые книги

Why Parenting May Not Matter

Why Parenting May Not Matter and Why Most Social Science Research is Probably Wrong - довольно туманная статья в Quilette. not enough substance.

они выкладывают в facebook старые статьи почему-то, эта вот - 2015-го года. реклама, вероятно. честно предупреждают: From the archives.

в конце статьи стишок цитируют из The Nurture Assumption, но This Be The Verse by Philip Larkin процитировать постеснялись. стишок Ларкина более чем средний, а русские переводы - исключительно бездарные.

зато первый комментарий к статье - от JayMan со ссылками на его статьи в UNZ on behavioral genetics, познавательные.

новые книги

Daddy Left With Mr. Army: A Child’s View of Military Deployment

как это кстати, однако: Trump Criticized For Breaking With Longstanding American Tradition Of Remaining In Middle Eastern Countries Indefinitely

"Occupying a country on the other side of the globe and staying there forever is an American pastime," said a CNN host. "For Trump to pull out when we haven't even been there a decade yet is a disgusting display of his selfishness and unwillingness to conform to the standards of presidential decorum."

not even mine

6m25s BR: Oh, I got to Cambridge when I was 18 and that, of course, was a new world to me. I for the first time met people who, when I said anything that I really thought, didn't think it absurd. I had learnt at home to say almost nothing about what I really thought. My people had a horror of philosophy which interested me. And they would say every time philosophy was mentioned: "Philosophy is summed up completely in these two questions: What is better? Never mind. What is mind? No matter."
...
26m13s BR: Oh, well, as to that. You see, I think one of the troubles of the world has been the habit of dogmatically believing something or other. And I think all these matters are full of doubt and the rational man will not be too sure that he's right. I think we ought always to entertain our opinions with some measure of doubt. I shouldn't wish people dogmatically to believe any philosophy not even mine, not even mine.

- Full transcript of video interview with Bertrand Russell [PDF]

Bertrand Russel [youtube]

not even mine my ass

involved parent

дамочка по NPR говорит: I am a very involved parent, I am a member of PTA, etc etc, and my daughters are even afraid to tell me much details about anything because they know how involved I would get.

unrelated: через несколько дней там же, по NPR, в New Yorker Radio Hour передавали вот эту заметку из The New Yorker: I'm a Proud Nuclear-Missile Owner. отвлекаясь от содержания: возмутительное качество, уровень школьной стенгазеты.

Selfish, Shallow, and Self-Absorbed

сразу несколько интересных статей в nyt, вот No Kids for Me, Thanks:

Anna Holmes cataloged the “hoary ideas of womanhood” on display in her Brooklyn neighborhood, which has “overpriced boutiques filled with one-of-a-kind maternity clothes and hundred-dollar sets of receiving blankets made of ‘all-organic cotton.’ ”

Laura Kipnis wrote about her “profound dread of being conscripted into the community of other mothers — the sociality of the playground and day-care center, and at the endless activities and lessons that are de rigueur in today’s codes of upper-middle-class parenting.”

в тексте много ссылок на источники из современной культуры, познавательно. Stepford moms, к примеру.

комментарии скучные.